Chapter 8 Interpersonal Relationship stages and Theories

Interpersonal relationship have both advantages and disadvantages. Among the advantages are that these relationships stimulate us, help us learn about ourselves and generally enhance our self-esteem. Among the disadvantages are that they force us to expose our vulnerabilities, make great demands on our time, and often cause us to abandon other relationships.

Relationship Stages
The quality that makes a relationship interpersonal is interdependency, which is the actions of one person have an impact on the other person. There are six stages in relationship stages.
(a) Contact
(b) Involvement
(c) Intimacy
(d) Deterioration
(e) Repair
(f) Dissolution

(a) Contact
This stage is the initial stage that we see what the person looks like, hear what the person sounds like, or even smell the person. There is first perceptual contact. From this, we will get a physical picture of that person. After this perception, there is usually interactional contact. Here the interaction is superficial and impersonal, is the stage which we exchange basic information that needs to come before any t=intense involvement, it may also be nonverbal.

(b) Involvement
This stage is a sense of mutuality, of being connected and develops. We will try to learn more about the other person. Each person tries to find out how the other feels about the relationship.



(c) Intimacy
Intimacy is a feeling that we can be honest and open when talking about ourselves, that we can express thoughts and feelings we wouldn’t reveal in other relationship. In this stage, there is an interpersonal commitment, and perhaps a social bonding, in which the commitment is made public.

(d) DeteriorationRelationship deterioration is the stage that sees the weakening of bonds between the parties and represents the downside of the relationship progression. It may involve many reasons.



(e) RepairThe first phase of the relationship repair stage is intrapersonal repair, which you analyze what went wrong and consider ways of solving relational difficulties. If decide that the person want to repair their relationship, he or she may discuss this with their partner at the interpersonal repair level. They may talk about the problems in the relationship, the corrections they would want to see, and perhaps what would be willing to do and what would want the other person to do.






(f) DissolutionIf repair fails, the relationship may dissolve. This stage is the cutting of the bonds trying us together, no matter in friendship or romance. This will move first to interpersonal separation and later, to public or social separation.



Relationship Theories
(1) Attraction Theory
This theory hold that people form relationships on the basis of attraction. It depends on four factors:
(a) Similarity- How our mate would much like us, especially attitudinal.
(b) Proximity- Physical closeness.
(c) Reinforcement- attracted to people who give reward, which can range from a simple compliment to an expensive cruise.
(d) Physical attractiveness and personality-

(2) Relationship Rules Theory
This rules approach views relationships as held together by adherence to an agreed on set of rules. There are four types of relationship rules:
(a) Friendship rules
(b) Romantic rules
(c) Family rules
(d) Workplace rules

(3) Relationship Dialectics Theory
Relationship dialectics theory argues that people in a relationship experience dynamic tensions between pairs of opposing motives or desires. There are three pairs of opposites:
(a) The tension between closeness and openness: early stages relationship development
(b) The tension between autonomy and connection: relationship progresses
(c) Then tension between novelty ad predictability: relationship progresses

(4) Social Penetration Theory
This theory defines that not of why relationships develop but of what happens when they do develop. It also describes relationships in terms of topics that people talk about and their degree of “personalness”. In this theory, relationship involves breadth and depth. The breadth of a relationship has to do with the number of topics we and our partner talk about. The depth of the relationship involves the degree to which we penetrate the inner personality and the core of the other individual. However, when a relationship begins to deteriorate, the breadth and depth will reverse themselves, and this process called depenetration.

(5) Social exchange theory
Social exchange theory said that we develop relationships that will enable us to maximize our profits. The theory begins with the following equation:
* Profits = Rewards – Costs

-Rewards are anything that we would incur costs to obtain.
- Costs are things that we consider unpleasant or difficult.
-Profits is what results when the rewards exceed the costs.


(6) Equity Theory
This theory uses the ideas of social exchange, but goes a step farther and claims that we develop and maintain relationships in which the ratio of our rewards relative to our costs is approximately equal to our partner’s. An equitable relationship is simply one in which each party derives rewards that are proportional to their costs. In this theory we will develop, ne satisfied with , and maintain relationships that are equitable.

The Dark Side of Interpersonal Relationships The dark side of relationship included jealousy and violence.

(1) Jealousy
Jealousy is a feeling we have when we feel our relationship is in danger because of some reasons or competitor. There are three types of jealousy which are cognitive jealousy, emotional jealousy and behavioral jealousy.



(2) Violence
There is three types of violence in a relationship, which are physical abuse, verbal or emotional abuse and sexual abuse. We should deal with violence, and it is important to know that there is the potential for violence in all relationship.