Friday 4 April 2014

Chapter 9: Friends, Lovers, and Families Friendship


-          It is an interpersonal relationship between two persons that is mutually productive and characterized by mutual positive regard.
Friendship is an interpersonal relationship
-         The communication interactions must have taken place between the people.
-         It involves ‘personalistic focus’.
-         Friends react to each other as complete persons; as unique, genuine and irreplaceable.
Friendship must be mutually productive
-          Not to be destructive to either of the involved parties.
-          Once destruction enters into a relationship, it can no longer be characterized as friendship.
Friendship are characterized by mutual positive regard
-          Example, you like me and like you.
-          Liking people is essential if we are to call them friends.
-          Three major characteristics of friends are trust, emotional support and sharing of interest.
Friendship types
-         Not all friendship is same.
-         It is distinguishing among the three major types of friendship; friendship of reciprocity, receptively and association. 
Friendship of reciprocity
-          Is the ideal type which characterized by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection and generosity.
-          It is based on equality, each individuals shares equally in giving and receiving the benefits and rewards of the friendship.
Friendship of receptivity
-          There is an imbalance in giving and receiving; one person is the primary giver and the primary receiver.
-          It is a positive facto, because each person gains something from the relationship.
-          The different needs of both the person who receive and the person who gives may develop between a teacher and a student or between a doctor and a patience.

Friendship of association
-         Is a transitory one.
-         Described as a friendly relationship rather than a true friendship.
-         Often have with classmates, neighbours, or co-workers.
-         There is no great loyalty, no great trust, no great giving or receiving.

Why do we seek out friendship and close friendship?
Utility purpose: - to help you to achieve your specific goals and need.
Affirmation: - to help you to recognize your attributes.
Ego: - someone who behave in supportive and encouraging.
Stimulation: - introduces you to new ideas, help you to expand your worldview.
Security: - someone who does nothing to hurt you.
Friendship and communication
-          Friendship develops over time in stages.
-          From the initial contact stage to intimate relationship, the depth and breadth of communication increase.
-          You talk about issues that are closer and closer to your inner core.  
Casual friendship 
-         The second stage of friendship.
-         Dyadic consciousness takes place.
-         Doing things together.
Close and intimate relationship
-         The third stage of friendship.
-         Most intimate forms of togetherness.

Friendship and culture
-         Different cultures would bring about different meaning to friendship.
-         Collective society: the more friends, the better.
-         Individual society: the more friends i have the lesser chance of getting promotion in workplace.
-         High ambiguity: presence of friends is expected and welcomed.
-         Low ambiguity: why should i hang out with people that i don’t know.
Romantic relationship
-         Eros: erotic, sensual, desire and lust.
-         Ludus: excitement, fun, and entertainment.
-         Storage: peaceful and slow.
-         Pragma: practical and traditional.
-         Mania: extremist of opposites.
-         Agape: unconditional love

Families
-          Each family has their own uniqueness and characteristic, but they do normally follow a certain set of rules and criteria.
-          Such as, defined roles, recognition of responsibilities, shared history and future and shared living space.
Types of families
Traditional couples
-         The conventional form of a family – shared values, beliefs, tolerance for one another.
Independent couples
-          This family setting stresses individually as the main theme in the family and unfortunately this is how the modern family is today.
Separate couples
-          This family setting is not really a family but individuals in this family stay together for a common benefit
Family and communication
-          Equality: individual in families would often seek and equal terms of respect, understanding with one another and love.
-          Balanced split: have a balanced amount of responsibilities.
-          Unbalanced split: do not have balanced amount of responsibilities.

-          Monopoly: a person is the authority and a very traditional and conventional family setting.    

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